Okay, hear me out. You’re an omnipotent being, living in a timeless celestial HOA called the Q Continuum. You can go anywhere, do anything, annoy anyone. Life is good.
But then there’s that species. The El-Aurians.
They’re serene. Wise. Great listeners. Probably make a killer cup of tea.
Also? They can sense time weirdness.
They look at you sideways when you alter reality and go, “Hmm. That’s not right.”
And worst of all? They never laugh at your jokes.
So what do you do?
Well, if you’re the Q… you might just build a relentless cybernetic species with a hive mind, hyper-advanced tech, and a raging perfection complex — basically the galaxy’s most humorless group project — and sic them on the El-Aurians.
Just to prove a point.
The Great Q-Level Petty Move
Let’s not forget Guinan’s look when she sees Q in TNG. She straight-up goes into Kung Fu Panda stance, ready to throw hands. Q, usually smug, looks genuinely uncomfortable.
Why?
Because he knows what he did.
He created the Borg.
He sent them after her people.
And now she’s tending bar on the Enterprise like it’s no big deal…
But she remembers.
The Borg: Q’s Version of Turning It Off and On Again
Q: “This species keeps calling me out for messing with time. What do I do?”
Also Q: “Let’s invent the galactic version of ‘Ctrl + Alt + Delete.’”
And voilà:
The Borg are born.
No emotions. No opinions. No jazz music.
Just “We are the Borg. Your uniqueness annoys us. Please stand still while we file you into our existential spreadsheet.”
The Federation as Unwitting Interns
Poor Picard.
He’s just trying to sip Earl Grey and boldly go.
Meanwhile, he’s caught in an ancient divine beef between space aristocrats and immortal therapists.
He thinks Q is testing humanity.
But Q is really just… making sure his other problem didn’t leave any survivors with good memory and sass.
In Conclusion: Space is Petty
So maybe — just maybe — the Q created the Borg not out of necessity, but out of cosmic spite.
Because the El-Aurians read them too well.
Because Guinan gave them the Look.
Because nothing is more dangerous to an immortal space god than someone who listens just a little too closely.
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