Disclaimer: The following blog reflects my personal opinions and views on the subject discussed. It is based on my own experiences, perspectives, and interpretations.
Ah, Tewkesbury Borough Council. If there were an Olympic event for bureaucratic ineptitude, they’d take home the gold, silver, and bronze—then disqualify themselves for not filling out the correct form.
Let’s talk about their latest masterpiece: refusing us a Section 38 referral under the Housing (Scotland) Act because, in their infinite wisdom, they have deemed us “not homeless enough.” Yes, you read that right. Apparently, there is now a Goldilocks scale of homelessness, and we just don’t hit the sweet spot.
How Homeless Is Homeless Enough?
It seems that, according to Tewkesbury Borough Council, being unable to safely live in our current home due to harassment, mental health deterioration, and antisocial behavior isn’t quite up to scratch. Perhaps if we were actively setting up camp under a bridge while being chased by an angry goose, they might reconsider.
But no, despite mountains of evidence—incident reports, medical records, emails, witness statements, and what might as well be a full Netflix docuseries at this point—they’ve decided we are just a little too indoorsy to qualify.
This is despite the fact that we are often forced out of our own home because of our neighbor’s constant noise and subwoofer shaking the walls. Imagine paying rent for a place you can barely exist in—Tewkesbury Borough Council calls that “fine.”
To make matters worse, one of the local councillors has decided that we are in a position we simply “do not wish to solve”—as if we’re sitting here, twiddling our thumbs, choosing to suffer for fun. Yes, we totally love being forced out of our home by unbearable noise while fighting against a system that refuses to acknowledge our situation! What an absolute dream life.
The Logic (or Lack Thereof)
Let’s break it down:
- If you’re sleeping rough, you’re homeless. – Fair.
- If you’ve been evicted, you’re homeless. – Reasonable.
- If you are trapped in a property where you are unsafe, targeted, and unable to function due to the conditions… well, actually, that’s fine, have you tried manifesting better vibes?
It’s almost impressive how they can ignore literal laws designed to protect people while still managing to send us letters pretending they care. It’s like watching someone ignore a fire alarm while the building is actively burning, then handing you a leaflet on fire safety.
A Masterclass in Passing the Buck
Every time we approach them with “Hey, we need help. You legally have to help us.”, they respond with something along the lines of:
- “Have you tried just staying put?” (Yes, and it’s ruining our lives, thanks for asking.)
- “Can you prove you’re REALLY struggling?” (Would you like a livestream of our breakdowns?)
- “Maybe Scotland doesn’t want you?” (Scotland has laws that say they do, but thanks for that uplifting input.)
- “You just don’t want to solve your situation.” (Oh yes, we definitely wake up every morning thinking, “How can we make our lives harder today?”)
They could probably watch someone drowning, shrug, and go, “Well, technically, you’re still in the water, so you’re not quite drowned enough to qualify for rescue.”
What’s Next?
At this rate, we’ll probably have to:
- Show up to the council office wrapped in a tent while holding a sign that says, “Am I homeless enough yet?”
- Live-stream a real-time documentary called “Escape from Tewkesbury: The Bureaucracy Chronicles”
- Find a way to become both more and less homeless simultaneously to fit their ever-shifting criteria
Final Thoughts
If Tewkesbury Borough Council ran the Titanic, they would have told passengers, “You’re not sinking enough to warrant a lifeboat. Have you tried holding your breath?”
If they handled medical emergencies, they’d say, “Yes, we see the bullet wound, but have you considered walking it off?”
And if they ran customer service for an airline, they’d tell a stranded passenger, “Well, technically, you’re still at an airport, so you haven’t REALLY left yet, have you?”
Tewkesbury Borough Council: Where common sense goes to die, and bureaucracy reigns supreme.