Ah yes, Onyx Dragon. The well-known holistic shop for ethically sourced teas, spiritual tools… and apparently Alaskan sausages?
A very determined customer entered our live chat on a mission. He had found the post. The sacred listing. The prophecy of meat.
“Where are the sausages?” he asked.
We explained, gently but firmly, that we’ve never sold sausages. Not even metaphorical ones.
He insisted they were “put in by the manager.” Cute—because I am the manager. The only one. It’s just me here in this humble, sausage-free kingdom.
Just to clear things up: Onyx Dragon has never sold anything on Gumtree. We don’t now, and we don’t plan to. No sausages, no scented candles, no “aromatherapy meat.” It’s not our vibe.
If you see anything claiming to be us on platforms outside the official ones listed on our social media or website—it’s not us. We don’t do stealth listings. We barely do marketing without herbal tea.
Alas, no matter how many times I said we don’t do sausages, the dream wouldn’t die. RIP to this man’s mystery meat fantasy.
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#SirThisIsAHolisticShop #SausageGate #CustomerServiceGold #LiveChatComedy #OnyxDragonDoesNotDoMeat #OneWomanNoSausageShow #GumtreeDidMeDirty #FakeListingsNotUs