I’ve lost count of how many times someone has looked at me and said — or thought — that I’m lazy. That I’m “bone idle” or “not trying hard enough.” If you’ve ever felt this way about someone like me, here’s the thing: what looks like laziness on the surface often has very little to do with effort.
The Reality Behind “Lazy”
I have ADHD and am autistic. That combination affects how my brain handles tasks, time, and energy. Things that might seem easy to others — remembering appointments, keeping my workspace tidy, juggling multiple deadlines — can be genuinely overwhelming for me.
- Executive Function Differences: Planning, organizing, and completing tasks don’t come naturally. It’s not procrastination or avoidance; my brain literally struggles with breaking down steps, prioritizing, and remembering what needs to be done.
- Sensory Overload: Everyday environments can feel like a storm of noise, light, and movement. Making it through even simple tasks in this context can drain energy that others might not notice.
- Masking: I’ve spent years hiding or suppressing natural reactions to fit in. Pretending to be “normal” takes so much energy that it can leave little left for actual productivity.
Rich and Rox Pink, in their work on ADHD relationships, describe this perfectly: “You are NOT lazy. Rather, you have ADHD, which means you may struggle with certain tasks due to difficulties with executive function.” It’s a relief to read, because it names what I’ve always felt but couldn’t explain.
Why It Looks Like Laziness
From the outside, it can appear that I’m avoiding work or not caring. But in reality:
- I might be hyperfocused on one task while other things get left behind.
- I might need more time than others to process or plan.
- I might be exhausted from navigating overwhelming sensory input or social expectations.
Rory, another advocate in the ADHD community, often emphasizes that neurodivergent brains operate differently — and that misunderstanding is what leads to unfair labels like “lazy.”
Why It Looks Like I’m Just Sitting Around
Sometimes people say things like, “You just sit on your arse all day.” From the outside, it may look like I’m doing nothing. But here’s the reality:
- Mental Effort is Invisible: Executive function, sensory processing, and constant mental planning take a huge amount of energy — even if it doesn’t look like physical activity.
- Rest is Necessary: My brain sometimes needs breaks to recover from overstimulation or intense focus sessions. What looks like “doing nothing” is often recharging to function effectively later.
- Hyperfocus & Task Switching: I may be absorbed in one project or thought while other things remain unfinished. It can seem like inactivity, but my brain is deeply engaged.
- Masking Exhaustion: Constantly pretending to conform socially or hide ADHD/autistic traits is draining. After long periods of this, I may appear sedentary while actually recovering.
Rich Pink and ADHD Love emphasize that these visible moments of “stillness” are not laziness — they’re part of the natural rhythms of neurodivergent brains.
Why Many ADHD and Autistic People Choose Self-Employment
Many neurodivergent adults turn to self-employment because traditional workplaces can be overwhelming or inflexible. Being self-employed allows:
- Control Over Environment: You can reduce sensory overload and create a workspace suited to your needs.
- Flexible Scheduling: You can work during your most productive periods rather than conforming to rigid office hours.
- Task Prioritization: You can organize tasks in ways that fit your executive function, rather than adhering to a structure that may feel impossible.
In my own experience running a holistic business, a lot of my work — maintaining my website, managing orders, and handling admin — is largely desk-based and requires long periods of focused attention. To someone on the outside, it might look like I’m “sitting around all day,” but in reality, this is where the core of my business happens. Without these focused periods, nothing else can function smoothly.
This example highlights that apparent inactivity can be essential productivity for ADHD and autistic individuals. Sitting, focusing, and planning is not laziness — it’s the backbone of effective self-employment for many neurodivergent people.
Employment Challenges for ADHD and Autistic Individuals
Laziness is one misconception — employment barriers are another. For many ADHD and autistic adults, finding and maintaining a job is significantly harder than for neurotypical peers.
Getting a Job
- Interviews Are Hard: Standard job interviews favour neurotypical communication styles. Many ADHD or autistic candidates struggle with social cues, structured Q&A, or pressure situations.
- Bias & Misunderstanding: Employers may misinterpret nervousness, speech patterns, or unconventional behaviour as a lack of motivation or professionalism.
- High Unemployment Rates: Research consistently shows higher unemployment among neurodivergent adults even when qualified. (Autistica)
Staying Employed
- Executive Function Struggles: Time management, prioritization, and task-switching can be challenging.
- Sensory & Environmental Stress: Busy open-plan offices, constant notifications, and unpredictable routines can cause mental exhaustion.
- Masking & Burnout: Trying to “fit in” socially at work requires masking, which drains energy and can lead to burnout.
- Lack of Accommodations: Many workplaces don’t offer reasonable adjustments or understanding, which can result in repeated misunderstandings. (Authentically Emily)
Mental Health Factors
- Chronic misunderstanding, stigma, and pressure to conform can increase anxiety, depression, and stress, all of which make employment more difficult.
What Helps Me — and Could Help Others Understand
- Ask, Don’t Assume: A gentle question like “Do you need help or extra time?” is more useful than a judgment.
- Recognize Effort, Not Just Output: Just because I haven’t finished something doesn’t mean I haven’t tried or been busy in other ways.
- Be Patient: I may approach tasks differently, and my way isn’t inherently wrong — it just needs understanding.
- Learn About Neurodiversity: Understanding ADHD and autism goes a long way toward empathy.
Bottom Line
So no, I’m not lazy. I’m not avoiding work, and I’m not trying to irritate anyone. My brain works differently, and sometimes that looks like inaction. Employment and self-employment are areas where society’s expectations often clash with neurodivergent realities, making it harder for people like me to succeed — not because we don’t want to, but because the systems aren’t designed for us.
Next time you think someone is “lazy” or “just sitting on their arse all day,” consider this: there’s probably a lot more happening than meets the eye. And if you’re reading this and nodding along — yes, you’re not lazy either.
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